st_ormbreaker | (no subject)

(no subject)

Thor started off by knocking. When Loki didn't answer, he let himself in.

It doesn't take him long to find him. The first floor is easy enough to survey, and he saw from outside that Loki wasn't on the roof or the balcony, which left only the upper floor of Loki's room. As gifted as an illusionist as Loki was, it was easy enough for him to see through the alcove, particularly since he was already intimately familiar with the layout of the room.

Thor passes through it easily and drops the journal on the edge of the bed with a little thump.

"We're going to talk about this," he says in a tone that broaches no argument. It is simply a fact. Thor has no interest in wallowing in his own misery, and he has even less interest in allowing his brother to wallow in his own because of him.

It's time to talk.

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Thor looks at his brother, curious. "All right."

It would be interesting to see if that actually held, but it was a good start.

He’d never actually talked about that whole thing before, and figuring out how to start was... awkward. But trying to figure that out gave Loki an idea. “Do you remember Lady Sigyn at all? We would have been very young, it won’t surprise me if you don’t.”

"Vaguely."

It's true. All he really remembers about her is that she seemed very chatty (at least she couldn't seem to stop talking to him) and was really pretty. Not his type, but still attractive.

At this point, Loki himself didn’t remember her in much detail either. Pretty, yes, very. He vaguely remembered a very charming laugh. But it had been centuries. He wasn’t even sure what had happened to her. Had she been married off somewhere...? Probably. “I liked her, very much. But she wanted you.”

"Oh," Thor says to that. He's pretty sure he knows where this is going.

“I seem to recall the two of you had a fling, but even if you didn’t, I was... angry at you. So, frog. And I was sent to the Isle of Silence until I agreed to change you back.” It was always an effective punishment. Sooner or later Loki would do anything to be released from the Isle, though on this occasion he’d held out longer than usual.

Oddly, not for resentment. He’d been thinking, and then he’d vented where no one could hear. “There wasn’t much to do there but think, and I realized that Sigyn was my normal. I was no one’s choice, anyone who noticed me disliked me. It wasn’t your fault everyone loved you. It still isn’t.” Loki took a deep breath, then sighed it out. “So I... learned my lesson. I learned not to look or think, and found ways that actually do work, on occasion. And everyone’s been better for it. Particularly you, as you got to stop being a frog as soo. As I felt I could face reality without screaming.”

Thor takes this all in. It never occurred to him that Loki might have liked anyone who liked him, let alone that be the reason for his sudden frog transformation.

Neither did he think that his brother was convinced that nobody liked him.

Thor looks out at the rain. "Why are you so sure that people dislike you?" he asks. "There's plenty of people out here that seem to like you well enough."

“Why, because you do?” Loki shook his head. “I can get along when I need to, I can reach ‘tolerated’ when no one has a choice in the matter. But I am and have always been fundamentally not likable.” What other reason could there be? People had never needed reasons to hate him, even before he’d started providing good reasons; he had been reason enough by himself. “It’s just the way things are.”

"If people tolerated you, do you think they'd actively seek out your company?" If Thor had noticed anything, Loki had a few people who spoke to him on the regular. Even if Loki believed those people weren't his friends, Thor was certain of it.

“They don’t. You do. And Stark does, because he enjoys testing his ability to avoid trying to kill me.” Thor’s regard wasn’t in question. He was a distinct oddity in the universe, but there had to be one exception to prove the rule.

Thor knows better at this point than to argue about it. Loki is determined to believe he's unlikable, and no amount of arguing will change that.

"Did you want romantic companionship with her?" he asks instead.

“Her? Oh, Sigyn. I suppose so, that’s how idiot crushes work, I imagine.”

"I never considered that you might actually be romantically interested in someone before," he says. It's weird.

“It’s only happened the once. I’ve been careful.” Even after understanding and accepting, letting go of fantasy had been... difficult. Enough that he’d never wanted to do it again.

"We should see about finding you a partner while we're here," Thor says, giving his brother a pat on the back. His hand stays on his back, even after the patting is done, and he gives it a little rub before he withdraws it.

“Highly unlikely.” Thor was trying, though, so Loki flashed him a quick smile. “I have some possibility of ending my current dry spell, but we’ll see.”

"Oh?" That piques Thor's interest. "With who?"

“Bo. I understand you and she are acquainted.” Well enough at least for her to have asked Thor to kill her in the event she needed to die.

Thor stiffens at Bo's name.

"Are you sure about that?"

“She’s attractive, we’ve agreed no emotions involved. It seems ideal.” Loki didn’t miss his brother’s reaction and had a shrewd guess about where it came from. “Why?”

"She has..." Thor stops there and tries to find a kind way of putting it. "...issues."

Loki laughed. Just like Thor to get strange about these things. He didn’t want to risk being cruel. “You mean her inhibition control or the way she drains life force through sexual contact? I’m aware of both.”

Thor blinks. "And you're okay with that?"

“Why would I not be?” He shrugged. “I’m a deeper well than any human and less likely to be harmed by her appetite, and she can’t control me unless I allow it. I’m a good solution to her current difficulties, and for my part I’ll enjoy helping. Assuming we can come to an agreement.”

Thor has mixed feelings about Loki not being able to be controlled by her.

"Oh-kay. Just take care of yourself. Use protection." Thor claps a hand on Loki's shoulder. "I have condoms should you need them."