st_ormbreaker | (no subject)

Thor watches as Tony fiddles with the pieces of the gun. He avoided trying to say it outright; he'd hoped, perhaps, that Tony would read between the lines and know exactly what questions he was asking, but Tony has been mostly non-responsive for most of the conversation, saying things to just fill the space between them.

"I need you to tell me why you think Earth would be a better choice," he says. "If there's an option that is good for my people and good for Loki, I'm going to take it. If there's something better than that for just my people, that is always going to be my choice, my feelings for Loki be damned."

“You don’t think I want to say that?” Tony’s head snapped up to pinpoint Thor. “I haven’t argued Earth’s case as the right choice because I don’t know if it is.” If Thor didn’t know, Tony couldn’t imagine why he would think a mere mortal would know any better.

The fire was creeping to life and the drone finally made its departure to the skies. Tony rubbed his eyes for the smoke.

Thor's gaze never leaves Tony's face, even as the droid flitters away from their fire.

"Pretend that it is, then tell me why."

“I made my vows. I wouldn’t have made them if I didn’t believe. What else can I say.” Down went the gadgets, set aside for another time. “That, despite all the questions, you have me. You have me whether you’re there or not.”

Thor's gaze flickers away from Tony and down to the fire, now crackling with life. There are so many emotions churning inside of him and it's difficult for Thor to know what to do with them. He has always felt more powerfully than most, and that emotion was the driving force between many of his crowning achievements and his worst defeats.

"I don't think I ever told you this, but I gave up the throne shortly after the attack on London," he says. "I thought the best thing I could do for the Nine Realms was be there to protect them. Once I understood the responsibility of the throne, I doubted my ability to rule and rule well. Even now, I still have those doubts. Am I considering Vanaheim because there is some slim possibility my brother may live, or because I believe our father Frey might support us? Did I want to go to Earth because it is the only Realm I love as much as Asgard, or because I thought I had bought enough goodwill to make settlement there a possibility?"

He looks over at Tony. "I'm not longer in a position to make these decisions based on what I want and I don't know if I can."

“I want you on earth. I want you with me.” Tony’s voice wavered.

Thor didn't expect that answer.

"What?"

Tony mirrored Thor but even moreso. “What?”

The distance between them suddenly seems too great. Thor pushes himself up, then pads over to the opposite side of the fire. He moves Tony's tech aside to give him sufficient space to sit, then and settles down next to him.

Thor wraps an arm around him, pulling Tony's smaller body tightly towards him.

Thor doesn't say anything for a few wordless moments because he isn't sure what to say. He finally settles on the three that come easiest.

"I love you."

"I know. So do I." Tony's body sagged against Thor's, merely admitting it both a release and a great weight. "I wish it were enough."

"It is plenty," he says, giving Tony a squeeze.

His lungs released a wry but weak little chuckle.

"Well. I can promise something as small as unimaginable stretches of spacetime won't get in the way of it."

"Why don't we put a pause on the weapon development and work on another project?"

Thor didn't need to say much else. Tony shifted away from the gadgetry, tugged off his chocolate brown beanie and shook his silver-touched dark locks loose.

Thor's expression softens as Tony tugs his beanie off, and his chest wells with sudden affection.

"I wasn't talking about that," he says, though he still brushes away a few wavy locks to place his lips against Tony's forehead. "I want a way to communicate with you whenever I have to leave for one of the other realms. I want to be there when you need me."

“Go on.” Tony leaned back in the cradle of his arm, propping his legs up over the other man’s knee.

Thor idly sets a hand on one of Tony's legs.

"I used to ask Heimdall to just check in on everything every once in awhile, but that's really not an option anymore," Thor says. "Long-range tech already exists, but not at the level it needs to be to communicate with Earth from all of the realms."

“Aiming to get to the point where we won’t always need you.” He nudged his head beneath thor’s chin. “Can’t promise there won’t be days where I just wanna hear your voice.”

"I don't want you ever feeling like you can't need me." Thor shifts his neck to make room Tony's head. "I wouldn't object to hearing your voice, though."

A wider grin that touched his eyes spread before he could help it. “Stop. I’m supposed to be sad.” Christ he was a giant pudding of a man.

"I haven't written Earth off yet, you know." Thor shifts his neck again so he can bury his face in Tony's growing locks. "I don't know what our future is going to bring."

He just knows that he's going to have to check on the other realms at some point. Probably soon.

That preciously brief surge of happiness faded as the future was brought to the forefront of his mind.

“When you chaffeur me off Titan, bring me to Pepper. She needs to know.” If she still lived. “The estate—I need to plan for it. With her.”

"Mmm," Thor says against Tony's hair, quieter than he has been for most of the conversation. "I'll take you wherever you want to go."

The crackling of the full fire spat as the wind blew debris through the parched land and took the heat away from them. Tony’s composed mask faded as a chill caught his skin. Pepper. Peter. The thought of never seeing them again when he returned suddenly stabbed him right in the chest and he clenched Thor’s hand to his ribs to dull the ache.

“Don’t go. Please.”

Thor wraps his free arm protectively around him.

"I won't go," he tells him, even though he's not sure if it's going to stay true. All he knows is that right now, he's not going to leave.

And he knows that even in the future, he'll have a hard time leaving too, so long as Tony asks.